Tea Time for Minstrels

Thought my blog was dead, didn’t ya?

2011 had some hellish moments. I should probably reserve this post for New Year’s Eve, but I’m hoping to be optimistic by then (even though that seems pointless nowadays… *sigh*)

I think I want to be more honest and open with my feelings, even if it scares people away. Which is why I will continue this blog. I will make more video covers and original songs. I’m starting a new job and ending an old, very stressful one. I want to forget the past and move on to the present. Make memories with friends. Hopefully find someone to love and someone to love me back. God knows I’m supposed to be in my prime and here I am, the flower of my existence and the only time I was hit on was by a 70-yr old man. (FML)

Can the zombie apocalypse just happen right now, so that I can prove my worth as a survivor and put my video game skills to the test in real life?

This Saturday is going to be a super chill day. I hope.

Can Christmas and New Year’s never come? I don’t want to be reminded of cuddling couples who are so cute I want to strangle them, and starting a new year as a single person.

Maybe I should become a crazy cat lady.

So…… I found one of those clothing items that you see on the models and think, OMG SO AWESOME I WANT IT AND I HAVE TO HAVE IT!!! Well then you save up for it, and THEN the size you want sells out, and then you are like, “Well maybe I’ll get the bigger size and put my intermediate sewing skills to work!”

Yeah…..

Anyway I had my work cut out for me when the shirt I bought from Sexpot Revenge arrived. I was swimming in it!!!

This is usually the case from me no matter where I buy from, I’m just too small to fit anything. If you tell me to buy children’s sizing I will literally come through your screen and hit you.

I usually have a little more luck when I buy brand lolita, but usually the bust or shoulder area and the length are always a problem for me. Well, if it doesn’t fit, MAKE IT FIT! That’s my stubborn belief anyway.

So I studied to see how this garment was put together, took lots of photos of seams and stitching for reference. I worked on one side at a time actually, most people wouldn’t do that haha. There was so much to be done; width, length, shortening chains, straps, recreating thumb holes, etc. After about three days of toiling, I had success!

Yay! I like how it fits much more now <3

On Friday I planned to get my own guitar… Another developing interest I know. I love singing, but I’ve always wanted to play electric guitar. I’ve always envied singer-guitarists, well anyone who can sing and play an instrument at the same time… the amazing concentration they have, and it made me realize as a musician I’m only second rate at best if singing is my ONLY talent. Matt Bellamy has to be my major inspiration, since he sings so passionately and can play the guitar so well. However I am far from good and my discipline is childish at best XD We learn, we learn. And someday I will be on stage!!! Damn it I swear it!!! Before I die I WILL sing on stage! And if I can’t sing then it will be playing the guitar!!!

Anyway…

My sister and bro-in-law recommended a particular Ibanez for my small hands, since I originally decided on a Daisy Rock guitar… but they told me for that amount of money I should get something more long-lasting and better sounding, so Ibanez was in my brain all weekend XD And this morning (err, afternoon) I got all dolled up just to go to Guitar Center >.< Played around for a bit with a few guitars (including the Ibanez I was seeking), got complimented by one of the store people (“I like your dress, it’s RAD!!” <333), didn’t end up buying anything but that was kinda the plan anyway… I was just trying them out to see if they would work, and eventually I will get the Ibanez <3 Probably next month.

And while trying to figure out with the roommate whether we would eat out for dinner today or just eat at home (decided on eating at home, *sigh*) I set up the ol’ tripod and decided to get a few outfits snaps.

And a face shot so my made up face doesn’t go to complete waste:

Yeah… I have big teeth XD Still I like this shot.

Halloween is getting closer!!! Earlier on in the year I told myself I wanted to make a Lady Gaga costume, but that definitely did not happen hahahahaha. And earlier this month, I told myself I MUST goth out my room. My childhood friends have told me once that I remind them of Sunako, main character in the manga “Yamato Nadeshico Shichihenge” or better known as “Wallflower” here in the states. And out of curiosity when they had first told me that (I think that was at least 5 years ago?) I immediately went to go read it. OMG SHE IS ME!!! I thought. At the point in time I didn’t care about my looks much, my hair was growing out pretty long, I loved watching horror movies and had a developing interest in collecting things of the macabre type. And it was kind of a dream of mine to decorate my room like hers, only, with a little more décor.

Fast forward to earlier this month, and I thought “It’s Halloween soon! I wanna decorate my room like Sunako’s!” But not just for Halloween, I want my dark cozy bedroom enveloped in hazy fog-like lighting and skulls and candelabras and rococo furniture!!! I want to come home from my corporate-schmorporate job and unwind and watch horror movies in my little gothic hideaway!!!

Well…. it’s still in progress lol. I at least have gotten through with the planning stages, saved a lot of items to my wishlists. I’ve found Rococo-era replica furniture and and some more skull items; probably won’t be able to get my hands on an anatomical model or full-size skeleton since they will just take up too much room, and I’ll be downgrading to a studio in the spring.

Anyway… so that is still in the planning stages. I’m getting some time off near the end of the month for some major oral/dental work, so I think I will go crazy on the décor then XD

I think it’s because the weather is getting colder, but I’m really listening to more and more rock and metal (I mean I do anyway, but as of late EVEN MORE). What can I say. I’ve always been a rocker at heart. Even though my voice is very not >.< I just prefer rock over other genres. I think jazz and metal are tied for second, and pop would be last. I enjoy pop, don’t get me wrong, but if I were to perform, rock and metal would be the most exciting for me. I am not the dancing type (which is probably why I never got a call back from the first audition…), and to sing pop… well I just don’t get very excited. I’ve only been to two auditions, and I’ve had this whole OH GOD WHAT SHOULD I LOOK LIKE fiasco both times. First one I was like, well if I don’t show them what I like then I’ll be their little slave and have to dress in what they want. Second audition everyone kept telling me “look plain and be yourself!” ……… Yeah I think I was a little TOO plain then lol. And the first audition I think I sang rather well, save for being a little nervous on the third song I sang. Second audition I started too high… and well, sounded strained. But let’s not dwell on the past. I just don’t WANT to be a pop singer (both auditions were for Korean pop companies). And I am not built to be one. Though I have told myself I’d rather sing a genre I hate than be working in the corporate world like I am now… Who am I kidding? I can’t sing something I don’t get excited for. Professionalism or whatever, I just can’t. And I feel like I’ll be too difficult to work with in a genre I don’t care for.

And my dream of the stage just seems to be getting further away… I must work harder both at singing and at the guitar!!!

AH I babble. Hope you enjoy my goofy photos…